My niece and I have arrived in a small town in western Germany, Rhaunen, located in a beautiful hilly agricultural region called Hunsrück, and only a couple of miles away from Hahn airport, which is a major hub of the low-cost carrier Ryan Air. Coming in, relying on my trusty Garmin Nüvi, I realize that it still seems a world away from the hustle and bustle of the rest of Germany. You just have to take it easy and NOT be in a hurry when driving these back roads. The practicality of calmness lends itself to both safety and being awestruck by how truly lovely and charming the landscape is.
Waking up in the morning after a family barbecue with my cousin, Manfred, and a portion of his large family (three daughters and several grandchildren), I catch a whiff of the cool morning air and recognize the absolute freshness and vitality that is also a hallmark of this region. Kurorte (spas) pepper the landscape, and in the current decade, the region has become one of the largest onshore wind farm regions and home to a new national park. The hills are dotted with houses whose walls and roofs are rich in slate tile. In fact, charming does a disservice to this awe-inspiring region.
So, why happiness? Why not! Speaking with Manfred yesterday, it all dawned on me what this elusive word "happiness" is all about. The man was absolutely the definition of vitality, underscoring his nearly 63 years of age. He came alive to see family coming from across the ocean, his dry wit was completely on point, but the sparkle in his eyes when interacting with his grandchildren was brighter than the mid-day sun.
During the course of the evening, he would explain about little things that, put together like a jigsaw puzzle, define happiness. It definitely cannot be defined as the absence of sadness or fear, as he also added a story about a recent bout of claustrophobia that arose with an injury to his shoulder. It was in recognizing that happiness is about quality, not quantity.
Manfred and his wife, Renate, have lived in the same flat for well over 40 years. It is small and organized in a way that, should one misplace one of the many things collected over their marriage, the time-space continuum could be permanently upset. But, as he explained, there is a reason for everything. A dear friend of the family, Erna, lives in the house that they actually purchased on the Mosel River. She lives there, he checks in on her (Erna is the widow of "Onkel" Willi, who was the closest friend of Manfred's father and my uncle, Johnny), and when the day comes that she is no longer with us, he and Renate will give up the flat and move to the Mosel and begin renovations there.
Happiness is simplicity. Steve Jobs knew it. Happiness is having a plan, but recognizing that life happens. Happiness is quality of life, having family around and knowing that when time moves forward, and you see the children become young adults, you also recognize the need to step back and allow things to unfold in their lives, just as you saw them unfold in your own. As you see the same mistakes and missteps coming into clarity with the younger generation, you provide that warning, but also keep a hands-off approach,knowing that this is the most effective way to learn life's lessons. Manfred explained: "Look at Rhaunen. It's a small village. But here I have everything I need: we have bakeries, a grocery store, gas stations and butchers; and I can see hills and valleys, and take a nice long walk to be in nature. Birds sing, the sun comes up, the rain falls down. My beloved family is nearby. All is well here and it's really all I need."
Contrast this with the paternal side of my family and the talk about who's doing what and how well they're doing materially, and it becomes abundantly clear.
There are many things to learn yet.
But for now, I will enjoy reconnecting with my older cousin, enjoy his dry wit and soak in the joie de vivre that oozes out of his pores. It's great to be alive. Simply alive.
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